The Bold New City of The South

Valentine's Day

2007-02-13T17:00:00.000-08:00

We mixed the grayish brown powder with eggs,
oil....and more sugar...and chocolate....and
Jacksonville Tap.

It came out of the box......tasting like none
of its elements....it was the pre-mixture that
we loved to eat off of our fingertips.

Bake it for twenty minutes on 400 and you'll
have something homemade. Drizzle it with a
little more sugar and wash it all down with a
glass of caramel.

Happy Valentine's Day...

Medicinal Purposes

2007-01-24T22:30:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I paid a long overdue visit to Grass-
roots - the new grocery store in Five Points.
I needed sushi grade tuna for some enchiladas
I was making and they were in my proximity.

The store is well stocked but I would avoid
making the mistake of an after-dark visit. The
creepy florescent lighting made me feel as
though I was in a hospital. Perhaps the lights
were purposeful...intended to promote the idea
of sterility. Instead they made me feel as
though I were shopping in a third world country.
All that was missing was the scent of laundry
detergent and a language barrier.

The next time I visit the store...which should
be soon judging by the fish I enjoyed...I will
go during the day. Undoubtedly it will be more
innocuous - probably more akin to a small
warehouse.

The Belly of Mandarin

2007-01-21T13:53:00.000-08:00

Saturday night I found myself in the heart of
Mandarin - hungry and unwilling to sample
the mediocre offerings of most of the neighbor-
hood chain restaurants. It was decided that
Brooklyn Pizza would be a good place to try.

After eating the better part of a large cheese
pizza- it was clear that they definitely make a
great pie. Still, I prefer Renna's Pizza which is
similar in taste and style and features a friendlier
staff.

After dinner my dining companion Whitney and
I were on a quest to find a local coffee shop
when she spotted a sign that read "Evergreen
Cafe." We stopped at the small restaurant
(pictured above) and were pleasantly surprised
that the cafe specialized in crepes and we also
liked the modern decor.

We split a strawberry-banana-Nutella crepe
(pictured in the photograph) and it was
wonderful. Also, for a dessert that easily
fed two, it was only around $7 so it works for
those of us who like value.

Evergreen Cafe is located at the corner of
Baymeadows and San Jose and is definitely
worth seeking out.

Go this week and your ever expanding waistline
will thank you later.

Next Friday...

2007-01-17T15:53:00.000-08:00

On Friday 1/26/07 go see some of my
friends play music and wish Jesse Mangum
a happy birthday as well as a congratulations
for the grand opening of his new studio.

Is it Greater to be a Florida Gator?

2007-01-15T19:18:00.000-08:00

Last Monday....millions were overjoyed when
the Florida Gators won the National Champion-
ship by beating Thee Ohio State Buckeyes 41-14.

Waking up from their hangovers a full week
later - fans were shocked and surprised to
discover that they still had all of the same problems
that they had prior to the Gator victory. Others
were a bit more numb...understanding that they led
mediocre lives....but not realizing why - that even
after their favorite team won they still wanted
for more. The bro-dudes were still bro-dudes
and the rednecks were still rednecks who sought
fulfillment and comfort in their volume beers.

Band of Horses

2007-01-11T15:24:00.000-08:00

Band of Horses will be playing at Cafe Eleven on March
10, 2007. This ticket will probably sell out soon so you
should go and buy them up - take your friends and get
ready for an amazing show. For tickets - visit
www.cafeeleven.com.

The Hustler

2007-01-07T06:58:00.000-08:00

Recently there was a back-page editorial written
by Richard David Smith III in the Folio. It is a
humorous criticism and references a trip that I
took with Rich to Jim Draper's studio back in 2005.

When I first approached the friendly Senator Nelson
he put his hand on my shoulder and nodded to me
with a smile as his cameraman made a motion to take
our photograph. He seemed to salivate at the
chance for a photo-op with one of the few ethnic
minorities in the room...that is until one of his toadies
spied another ethnic minority who had two
advantages over me. The other was a child of around
six and a cute one at that. The toady whispered some-
thing - I assume slowly and repeatedly to the senator
who carried a perpetual glaze over his eyes.

I was brushed to the side as the senator mugged
for the camera - taking strategic care not look at the
child directly to avoid scaring her. From my view this
was preferable to being a tool for the Senator from
Florida but was not so great if you wanted to bring a
popular tax reform bill to his attention...which I
eventually did.

Rich was dead on about the issue-avoidance and
in fact the visit made it clear that Nelson's office was
probably littered with paraphernalia from his trip
into space. Judging by how proud he was of that
specific event and how often it was mentioned -
I thought that he probably required his staff to
pledge allegiance to his image....perhaps graven
with the word "HERO" and an American flag
perpetually waving with the aid of a portable fan.

All I want for Christmas

2006-12-24T15:29:00.000-08:00

...is to never have to hear this song again in my life.
The song's only function is to remind us that you
can avoid the hazards of the shopping season by
using the internet. The future is here and now.

However distasteful the song may be there is some-
thing wonderful about the legend of Paul and Linda
which brings me to my thoughts about this time of
year.

I wish nothing less than happiness in the coming year
for everyone. I am going to include people who have
threatened and generally harassed other people with-
out cause. For that specific group I hope that you can
put those petty feelings aside and judge each by your
interactions with them.

Make it a great year.

Sangria House

2006-12-22T16:32:00.000-08:00

Last week I ventured to the cultural Mecca
known as "The Southside" to have dinner with
a friend. I suggested one of my favorite
restaurants - Sangria House - which is located
in the Publix Shopping Center off Southside
and Touchton.

Arriving at 8:30 on a Friday night the Spanish
restaurant was empty. If you were to walk
into ten chain restaurants located within
a mile of Sangria House you would most likely
find a twenty minute wait...for a horrible,
overpriced and under-spiced product. Meanwhile
I was having the best meal I've had in months
from a locally owned place with character
and heart.

Everyone I bring to Sangria House ends up
saying the same thing. After talking about how
amazing the food is they ask me how long the
restaurant has existed.

I respond in the same way each time:

"A couple of years or so"

Everyone is always so surprised.

You should go there as soon as possible to
find out what I'm talking about.

I suggest taking a couple of people so you
can sample a few different dishes. For two
people...I would order the following dishes.

1. Manchego Cheese
2. A pitcher of Sangria
3. Refrito - An Eggplant dish that will
please you even if you hate eggplant
4. One of the Entrees - I had a white
fish with coconut rice and a pear-
sauce on Friday.

This Saturday........

2006-12-12T17:24:00.000-08:00

That is right folks....and it is only $10
so cut down on the beer this week and
spend it on this show. Don't be a cheap
bastard.

The show will be at 9th and Main in
Springfield.

G.I.R. (Generic Indie Rock)

2006-12-05T15:14:00.000-08:00

The Summer Obsession played tonight before
a modest yet enthusiastic audience at Jackrabbits
in San Marco. Due to my unfamiliarity with their
music I decided to give them a shot. After all if
they were very bad I could always have more
of Newcastle's social lubricant.

During the show there was much of the choreo-
graphed audience pointing and chants that should
be left to the arena rockers...as well as the
obligatory "THANK YOU JACK-SON-VILLE"
screams that were met with applause from the
audience.

The highlight of the show was definitely when
the lead singer lifted his keyboard while still playing
it and dramatically dropped the instrument four
or perhaps five inches which created an extra bit of
noise. This reminded me of the part of the Billy Joel
video for "We Didn't Start the Fire" where he has
"had enough" and he flips over the folding table after
some line about the cola wars. Was there ever a more
intense moment in Rock n' Roll history? I think not.

Thankfully the hometown band refrained from
belting out a hearty "Go Gators" though they did
take a moment to suggest three current films to
watch. The lead singer - who carried an appropriate
voice for the band's generic music - suggested that
we see Borat, Beerfest and The Tenacious D movie.
Unfortunately there was no such distraction during
the show.

"A Caged Animal"

2006-12-03T18:05:00.000-08:00

There was some activity across the street
in front of the salon. The homeless woman
(pictured above) was locked in the building
at 800 Lomax Street in Riverside and she
was remaining surprisingly calm. Perhaps
she fell asleep and was forgotten.

A Samaritan of 18 or 19 years old who works
at the Subway across the street first noticed
the predicament and was on the phone with
emergency services. In between her pacing
the woman would have moments of panic
where she would frantically pull on the
locked doors.

A cyclist pulled up with an inquiry about
the scene.

Him: "Is she locked in there?"

Me: "Yes...we're waiting for help"

Him: "A Caged Animal"

He walked his bicycle across the street
where he met some of his like-minded
friends.

First Friend: "Is that the crazy Asian lady?"

Second Friend: "Yeah that's her"

Without a trace of compassion they shared
a laugh at the woman's expense. She
became a story to mockingly tell at some
later point. Perhaps they would all get
polluted together while reminiscing on how
hilarious mental illness is.

Perhaps this stems from the sort of culture
that celebrates when Howard Stern has
the mentally ill on his show for cheap laughs.

Somehow I doubt they would have the same
attitude if they had someone in their family
who fought forces out of their own control
to survive.

She began to panic again and we calmed her
down by a universal gesture of open palms.
She knew my face from walking around the
neighborhood and she responded well.

I turned to the good Samaritan.

Me: (Indicating the cyclists) "She's
not even human to those guys"

Samaritan: (with understanding in
his voice) "Yeah....she doesn't know
any better."

Me: "Her life is hard enough as it is."

The Samaritan paused for a moment
and when he spoke it was with unease

Samaritan: "Yeah...my Mom is like that"

As we waited for the police officer to arrive
the cyclists rode off.

Where you ought to be

2006-12-02T07:47:00.000-08:00

This question comes from Mike from Riverside.

Mike: "Parag...I asked a girl out the other day
and she said that she was busy. Should I ask
her out again?"

Parag: Well Mike that is a good question. One
consideration is your level of attraction to her.
Since you're asking me the question I'll assume
that you have some interest there.

I would ask her out a second time. If she says
once again that she is too busy, this could
either genuinely be the case or she could just
be blowing you off. Either scenario warrants
walking away from the situation. If she isn't
interested enough to make an effort then
you are only wasting your time.

Also according to the 2000 U.S. Census, there
are 84 unmarried men per 100 unmarried
women here in the bold new city of the
South. This isn't a bad ratio if you're a guy.
Some of those ladies even have all of their
teeth.

Ask her out for a picnic in the park while
the weather permits. After a bite to eat and
a little to drink you should definitely do some
wandering with her.

If it goes well you should go with her see
Roargan next Friday at TSI. If it doesn't
go well you should go regardless.

Now it's time to say goodbye....

2006-11-25T09:08:00.000-08:00

Today Moon Colony Razorblade is having a
huge show. Lets send them off into the sunset
in style. The lineup is below and every effort
should be made to attend.

the moon and the stars - 3:30
neosporin - 4
lissajou - 4:30
amanda plummer - 5
giuseppe - 5:30
airport factory - 6:15
blood mountain - 7
the yusge - 7:45
cyanotype - 8:30
adel bengo - 9:15
applied communications - 10
emperor x - 10:45
the cadets - 11:30
thee monarchy v - 12:15
astronautalis - 1
telepathik friend - 1:45
thee harmonious fists - 2:30

I happen to love burritos but if you want
more dining options you will have to bring
your own or make a run to Riverside or
San Marco.

Where you ought to be

2006-11-19T20:25:00.000-08:00

Recently I received a question from Kylie
who comes to us from the far reaches of the
beaches.

Kylie: "I have the day off tomorrow and I
want to know what I should do."

Parag: Well Kylie, the days are cooling down
as much as they can here in The Bold New
City of The South. I think the question is
really about where you should be, however
I will address your concern.

First of all, what you shouldn't do is to go to
the garish nightmare known as the Jaguars
game.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for tacky
paintings of Jaguars gracing downtown as
well as those hideous sculptures that seem
to be everywhere. One man's art is another
man's horrendous and embarrassing eyesore.

On the other hand the Jags aren't playing the
powerhouse that is the Houston Texans so if
you are looking to live vicariously there is a
better chance that you can end up feeling as
though something good actually happened in
your life.

What you should do instead is take to the
streets of Riverside or Downtown and wander
around aimlessly. For far too long now, aimless
wandering has been adopted by the city's
vagrants. The truth is that you can learn
a lot about a city by walking around and
doing a 360.

While you are at it...find yourself a suitable
companion to keep you warm.

One step backwards

2006-11-18T07:52:00.000-08:00

It came to my attention yesterday that the
independent media store, Moon Colony Razorblade -
will be closing its doors in a couple of weeks.

There won't be any band-aids in the form of last
ditch efforts to save the store but this is definitely
a depressing bit of news. I won't be able to stop
by on my way home and get turned on to music
I've never heard before.

Max Wood and Cash Carter introduced me to a lot
of new music when they were Disk Jockeys at Fuel
5 or 6 years ago. I only knew Max as the kid with
the big head of hair and the glasses and I knew less
of Cash but they were a good introduction to a scene
that I had an under-awareness of.

Through MCR I was able to befriend both of them
and Cash Carter was the inspiration for writing this
blog along with Ricotta Park. So now you know who
to blame.

MCR will be missed in the Cathedral District of
downtown....as it was one of the few progressive
concepts in this town. I learned today when talking
about the store that there were critics who disliked
Max and Cash and thought the store was
pretentious. While the name of the store is possibly
the worst name for a store that I've heard in years-
MCR was anything but pretentious. MCR brought
free live music to Adams street and they would talk
to you about music and play anything you were
interested in listening to. They sought to expand
their audience's awareness not limit it.

We should all take up that cause.

Changing of the Guard

2006-11-13T17:14:00.000-08:00

Saturday marked the grand re-opening of
Violet in Five Points. Shedding the "Vintage"
part of the old store's name the new owner
Texie Leibe - shown above flashing a winning
smile - also shed the clutter that made the old
store feel like a slightly upscale thrift-store for
women. When walking into the store now - you
might be surprised at how much larger the
space appears.

For anyone who doesn't know Texie, you should
make it a point to introduce yourself the next
time you are in five points. If you're walking
your dog, the both of you should visit...since the
new Violet has a variety of products geared
towards our canine friends.

I wish her nothing but the best success. I expect
that she will hold a high standard and do good
things with her store.

Clarity in your Charity

2006-11-05T09:49:00.000-08:00

Should a private enterprise be given a charity
fund raiser? This was the question that came
to my mind recently when I learned that my
friend Owen Holmes had organized a benefit
show for an ailing business...the locally owned
coffee shop Uncommon Grounds.

The lineup originally included the Yusge,
Laserstar(who was unable to attend) and the
novelty group Heavy Flow. As a firm believer
in supporting my friends, I attended the fund
raiser. The Yusge...shown above were amazing
and their performance alone was enough to
warrant the donation.

What was unwarranted was a fund raiser for a
private business. Surely if Diane Lee, the owner
and operator of the coffee shop received windfall
profits, she would not share these with her patrons.
In the same way we should not share in her losses
in the way of a benefit show. Setting that aside the
real push should be a sustainable one instead of a
one time boost in revenue. The push should have
been to bring more people to the local coffee shop.
As an occasional patron I hope the business survives
however I do not wish to see any business getting by
in a depressing zombie like state where there is a
dependence on subsidies from such benefit shows.

When business plans don't work out profitably...it
is time to either adapt and change the business plan
or fold up shop. It is important to be comfortable
with these hard economic realities prior to getting into
any venture.

It is also important to keep in mind that private
business bail-outs are only successful when the
business plan is altered to increase profitability.
One could look at the Harley Davidson bailout of
the 80's as an example where a bailout "worked."
The scale and the source of the funds (forced via
taxes versus voluntary) are different but the
concept of the bail-out is the same.

The best thing that I can say about this event is
that the organizer Owen Holmes is a well intentioned
idealist. There are times where people do things
to appear better than they really are but this is
genuinely not the case here. The problem with
such idealism is that it neglects important differences
between what is, what isn't, what can be and what
can't be. It is no wonder that such events are
generically applauded because people rarely ask
the follow up question of "what next?" If you tell
someone that you're against a these types of charity
shows, you're likely to get a bit of stink eye thrown
at you. This has been boiled down to a right and wrong
point of view instead of any sort of debate or question
as to the efficacy of the plan.

From this vantage point it is dubious at best.

The payoff of the patient man

2006-10-22T22:53:00.000-07:00

The other day I wandered up to my watering hole TSI for a beer and a visit with my friends when a woman in her thirties approached me at the bar. She turned to me and started to say something.

Her: (smiling) Hi

Me: (politely smiling and slightly raising my glass) Hello

Her: Hey....were you in Riverside today?

Me: Uh...yeah

Her: Were you walking to Memorial Park?

Me: Yes

Her: And then you walked to Starbucks...

Me: Yes (awaiting her point)

Her: What is your name?

Me: (sensing a familiar and slightly painful exchange) Parag

Her: Baran

Me: Parag

Her: Barag

Me: Parag

Her: Oh...Parag...

Her: Well my friend was checking you out earlier and she wanted to know whether or not it was the same person. So if you come outside stop by and I'll introduce you. She's the cute blonde.

Me: Oh...ok...well thank you.

I proceeded to drink my beer and hang out with a friend. I wasn't overly enthusiastic about meeting anyone that night. At best this would be a slight boost to my ego - a response that came out of the ashes of my uglier days. As I was leaving the bar I saw the woman in question and her friend from the bar was also there. She was occuppied with the lips of a guy - someone she met within the hour or so that I spent inside. Her friend turned to me for another exchange:

Her: (disappointed) I guess you came out here too late

In fact I had come out just in time.

Her: She hangs out at Sushi Cafe a lot

Me: Oh

Her: So maybe you'll run into her

I said my goodbye and walked down the tunnel and wondered about male and female interactions. Perhaps it was love at first sight. Or maybe this was a fleeting experience brought on by low expectations. This was drum and bass night after all.

Sometimes we all need reminders

2006-10-17T09:56:00.000-07:00

While leaving Alltel Stadium on Sunday, a man walking past me grinned and made a disparaging remark to his friend about me regarding sexual preferences. He wore shorts that threatened to become pants with a dirty shirt and soiled tennis shoes. Judging by the features he seemed the likely product of some taboo engagement. This was the last of four or five such harassing comments that afternoon. (never while in a group) I guess I should have apologized for not being generic enough with my clothing choices. I should have also apologized for flying solo as much as I do to these garish events.

Sometimes it is good to be reminded of how great the Jaguars are for this town. In fact we need more events where we can mix locals with volume oriented beers. Along the way if the surrounding event can suck taxpayer money up - even better. If I were a billionaire then I would love for my private enterprise to be funded by the unthinking sports fan who believes that he is the beneficiary of such schemes. He is told that businesses will leave or choose not to come here based on the sports franchise. The NFL owners don't even have to say anything since local sports writers and later editorial writers lead this charge. After all it is in their best interest to do so both for current content as well as the possibility of being catapulted to a larger organization.

The next time that you think the Jaguars play a crucial part in helping Jacksonville grow further...remember Buffalo as a depressing cautionary tale.

ROARGAN!

2006-10-07T09:02:00.000-07:00

In front of Moon Colony Razorblade Josh Dunn, Mark Lynn, and Bert No Shirt debuted as the band Roargan. As Nick points out, they instantly became the favorite band of around fifty people.

I will be sitting down with Roargan for a little Q&A within the next couple of weeks so stay tuned.

I shot it five times

2006-10-03T21:00:00.000-07:00

A nice looking family walked into a local Pizza joint the other day. The husband and wife had a "fresh from the golf club" appearance and the children, a girl and a boy seemed pleasant enough. The boy couldn't have been older than thirteen. A woman working the bar knew the family and was making small talk. She asked the boy about his recent hunting trip.

The boy carried a broad smile and cheerfully exclaimed "I shot it five times." The woman asked the boy about the animal that he shot. The boy was still proud of shooting the animal five times and stated again that he he had shot the animal five times. When asked again the boy said:

"A Deer"

Embarrassed, the father laughed nervously and said "you're not supposed to say that." I suppose it was the embarrassment of a man who allowed his son to shoot an animal five times without mercy. On another level someone should have explained that being a poor shot wasn't a laudable thing either.

The woman behind the counter asked the boy how he cleaned the animal. She asked him how he skinned it. The mother of the boy chimed in and clarified that he "didn't know anything about that" and added that all of that was taken care of by the "processing center." She was very quick to cut the woman off. After all it wasn't polite conversation to mention what happens between the shooting and the happy meal at the end.

This is what happens when yuppies fancy themselves as outdoorsmen - the really nasty parts of hunting are taken out while the "good" parts...such as the thrill of killing something...are left in. What experience is re-lived through this sort of twisted romanticism? What lesson is learned? Gee Dad, it sure does feel good to kill things. Yes Son...lets have a little more male bonding by watching football and avoiding interactions that extend past the high five.

The racket the kids are making these days

2006-09-20T22:51:00.000-07:00

On my way home from work I tend to stop by the independent media store Moon Colony Razorblade . I visit with my friends Cash and Max and we listen to music together and they switch me on to things I've never heard before. I end up doing this at least two or three times per week.

One early evening I stopped in and Max was playing music that I was completely unfamiliar with. The music was on the minimal side and it was not the sort of minimalism that stems from people who can't play their instruments. It was all that was needed. The music was beautiful.

Max would go on to explain that this band was called “My Toy Heart” and that it was a band made up of local high school kids. I was pleasantly surprised that these kids were making such wonderful music and it made me hopeful that they would blossom and mature into something even better. Max(pictured below) went on to explain that they already disbanded.

The positive development was that I learned that their lead singer, Adel was making her own music. Her voice was the most notable attribute in “My Toy Heart” so I was anxious to hear her play live. I had my chance when I learned that she was set to play at Fuel in Five Points a few weeks later. Adel, who can't be older than 18 would go on to steal the show. I haven't heard a more honest or sensitive voice in Jacksonville. There were no traces of the American Idol-esque techniques that are so prevalent today amongst her peers. Of course I have to use the term “peers” loosely but I am speaking of many of the local solo acts around town who have generic voices that come from other places and other people.

Even amongst the good local acts, Adel stands apart as something special. I encourage everyone to seek her out and hear her lovely music and tell her how great it is. Then go out and find Max Wood and harass him into selling a copy to you.

The importance of having a sense of humor on other people's terms

2006-09-16T20:02:00.000-07:00

At first glance, "Pink Man" seemed innocuous enough. He seemed to be a nice guy when I met him at a friend's Christmas party last year. My initial impression would remain only for a few months. The night of the Christmas party we watched his DVD...a harbinger of things to come. He peddled his wares constantly. I understand that this was part of his livelihood however shameless promotion often leads to a worn out welcome.

Despite my criticism of "Pink Man" I still believed him to only be a slight annoyance until the night of the "Wet Hot American Summer Party" at the Saturday Night Intermission in Club TSI. Being a "Wet Hot American Summer" themed party, there were water guns as well as a large kiddie pool in the patio area.

"Pink Man" showed up in his costume and was whizzing around the club as well as the patio area. I was running around with a water gun when I shot water at "Pink Man." I didn't really see the harm in this considering that he had a nylon suit on which doesn't exactly disintegrate in water. Within a few minutes "Pink Man" would show that he only had a sense of humor on his own terms. He whirled around and aggressively grabbed my shoulder as a police officer would -- to try to get the water gun which I had stopped shooting. He was not happy. I shrugged out of his grasp and decided to play a little game of road-runner with him. He said that he was going to catch me and started to come after me while I turned the corner. I ran towards the wall, stopped on a dime and cut left. Pink man lost his balance and had to bail from his unicycle. At this point he was even more agitated. Coming after me once again he grabbed my shoulder, and this time he was wielding a beer that he was ready to pour on me. I explained that beer and water weren't equivalent and he was being very grabby and aggressive with my shoulder, bunching up my sleeve in his hand. I slipped out of his grasp and he ended up spilling the beer on two ladies who were trying to enjoy their night out. Effectively killing the mood, Pink Man rode off.

If you are going to ride around on a unicycle wearing a pink catsuit, it is important to have a sense of humor on other people's terms. Otherwise you're just being ridiculous.

Happy Birthday Mom

2006-09-05T15:48:00.000-07:00

People are often reflections of and reactions to their parents so if you only do one thing right....be a good parent.

Mom, I don't always tell you that I appreciate the things that you do but I do. I love you.